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I thought about you a lot.
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Once you almost came. In the end you didn't. That's OK. You became happy, became married, became pregnant. You passed me on every level.
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You seem to be the only real way for me to grasp the life I want for myself, but I know that you are so far outside my orbit.
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Once we watched a movie together and held hands. Once we looked at a lake at night.
Once you told me I wasn't a jerk, but that you were going to break up with me. Do you remember? I wonder. I wonder if you ever remember. It's OK if you don't. It's OK if I never mattered to you. I know that's not fair. We still talk, did you know that?
Do you notice aby we talk, or is it just a drop to you?
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She's great. But she wants different things, and I wonder how long it will take her to realize. When she does, it will be. It will be different than when you and I were.
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I know. Maybe that is why I can't forget, maybe the freshness of my heartmeat was what let you scar it so deeply. I want to say "That's OK. It is a part of my life. People want people to forget parts of their lives, but people's lives are people's lives, you know?
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I wonder if the pictures I've seen are accurate. I think if I saw you it would be hard, but that you would make it easy. You make everything easy. I guess it's ironic. The way I haven't seen you makes me wonder if you're real. Are you real? I wonder if I was around you if I would notice your flaws. When I was ij and we were we I never noticed your flaws. Did you have flaws then? Do you have making friends in france any women in Colchester Vermont still up I know I haven't said.
I know this probably means nothing to you. But I need you to know. I say that, but I guess it isn't true.
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I guess you might never see. I guess even if you do you won't know for sure it's you. I guess that if I really needed you to know, I'd say it to your CColchester.
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